K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
