Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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