your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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