All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
