Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
