I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
