He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
