ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
