And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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