This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize