i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
