Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
