So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Randomize
