can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize