Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
