just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
did i walk over a car last night?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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