the new term for farting is butt boxing.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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