I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
He passed out mid-signature
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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