is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
