I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
