All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
So much rum. So many feels.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
