The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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