Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
i think my tv is drunk
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
