Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
We left an ass print on the piano.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
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