dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I don't deserve a penis
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
