I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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