You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
