i think my mom watched the whole time
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Randomize
