i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
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