do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
