Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
