True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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