Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
