did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
