Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
