it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize