I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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