Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
