he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
