This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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