Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
