So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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