I smell stomach acid.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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