he wants to bone in the snuggie
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
