I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
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