Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
She's the barista slut.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize