I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Randomize
