Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
