Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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