Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
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