The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
