Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
