I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize
