I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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