I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
