I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
