brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
