What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
