My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
