It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize