Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
