I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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