ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Floor bacon is actually really good
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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