Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
