she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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