did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Randomize