your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
