That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Randomize
