I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize