D3 body, D1 cock
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
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