If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
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