They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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